Invasion of the Fan Girl
by Yoda's Padawan
Summary: What happens when you throw a fangirl and her alive Jazz toy with laptop with its own personality into the G1 world? Heck.
1. Hello, G1

YP: Just an idea I had while thinking about what would happen if me 'n' my Jazz toy was tossed into the G1 world. Enjoy.

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"Five more minutes…" I murmured from where I was sitting at my art desk, forehead lying on the closed cover of my laptop. "Then, I'm going to pass out from boredom. Seriously…need…something…to do…" With every word, I smacked my head onto my laptop, but not very hard to make sure I didn't hurt my poor computer.

Sitting up straight, I sighed and opened the laptop, logging on. Internet Explorer popped up and I began to do what I do best; surf the net. My ears twitched slightly as I heard my little brother open the door to my room and bounce over to where I was sitting. "Look." He grinned, holding something in front of my face. "Guess who?"

"Hmm…you and your Ironhide toy?" I poked said toy and pulled it from his grasp. "Ah…Ironhide as he shall appear in the new Transformers movie…he's got a BFG!" I grinned.

"A big, friendly giant?" John joked.

"No, a big f-in' gun!" I laughed, poking Ironhide's huge gun. "He's got two of 'em too!" I grinned and cuddled the toy. "Wait a second…where'd you get this one?! I only found BB, Scorpy, Barricade and Jazzie…" I pointed to Jazz's toy, who was standing proudly on my bookshelf, rifle aimed at my Soundwave toy.

"Wal-Mart."

"I knew that…"

"Last one."

"…Lucky!!" I giggled, poking his chest. "Can I put him next to Jazz? Please? Please, please, please, _please_?!" I was already putting Ironhide on the topmost shelf of my bookcase, right next to Jazz with his guns aimed at Starscream.

"No!" John jumped and snatched him. "He's mine!" With that, the boy ran out of my room and I pouted, sitting down on my stool and turning back to my computer.

I glanced up and saw Jazz sitting on my desk. Confused, I poked him. "How'd you get down here?" I murmured, picking him up gently. I swear his visor twinkled slightly. Grumbling, I poked him again and put him down. "I hate that boy…" I murmured, looking at my twenty inch Bumblebee toy. "…Wanna go see POC3? Then head to the library? They've got a new shipment of graphic novels."

Without waiting for an answer – not like I would have gotten one – I loaded up Jazz into my purse, which had taken me an hour to find the day before seeing as how I don't use them often, slid my laptop into my book bag and grabbed my wallet. With a shout to my brother I was going out, I left the house and snagged my brother's bike. Snickering at the image of his face when he realized I had took it as it popped into my mind, I put the bike back. He'd kill me if I took it. With a sigh, I decided to run for it. The bus stop was near my house and I had enough money for a bus ticket and movie ticket. Maybe not for candy at the movies, but I always carried gum with me. That would work.

Huffing, I held my purse close by my side so both my wallet and Jazz wouldn't fall out as I ran. Hoping and praying I wouldn't miss the bus, I kicked my legs into overdrive. If I missed the bus, I would miss the start of the movie and I wasn't willing to miss the movie. Plus, it would end thirty minutes before my curfew and the new showing would end two hours _after_ my curfew.

I would be dead. Really, really dead.

I got to bus stop just as it arrived and scrambled on, heading to the back. Once there, I pulled my backpack into my lap, legs spread out lazily on the large, back bench and sighed, closing my eyes. Next thing I knew, someone was shaking my shoulder and telling me to wake up.

"Alright, get up." The bus driver stood up straight and I rubbed my eyes. I hadn't meant to fall asleep…I just had. He pointed to the door and I sighed, standing up and grabbing my book bag.

I walked out, grumbling, and then looked up. Wait a second! I turned to talk to the bus driver, only to realize the bus had driven off. My eyes widened as I looked around. I was no longer in Montgomery, that much I knew, but I had no idea where I was. The town was bigger and a lot more crowded.

And we were near a beach.

I could see it from where I was standing at the bus stop. Blinking, I hurried towards it. I rarely get to be near the ocean and figured what the heck? After all, I wanted to at least go get some shells. Mom would like those. That thought made me freeze. Mom! She probably didn't know where I was! And, judging by were the sun was in the sky, I had been asleep for at least two hours.

"Hey, man, you mind not running so fast? It hurts!" A voice with a Southern, almost Cajun, voice asked. I blinked and looked around. Someone pulled on my pants leg, "Hey, man, down here!"

I glanced down and saw the strangest sight in the world; my Jazz toy – the one from the 2007 Transformers movie – was sitting on the top of my purse and holding onto the straps. My mouth dropped and I got the impression he was grinning at me. I could practically _see _the famous Jazz grin I loved grinning up at me behind that mask Michael Bay had stuck on him. "Holy sh…slag!" I managed to stop myself from cursing just in time.

"What's the mattah?" Jazz asked, his voice sounded like it had in the 1980's cartoon, Cajun and sexy. "Nevah seen a Transformer 'fore?"

"…" I just stared at him until screaming brought me back to the present and I heard people running. Yelping, I grabbed Jazz up, holding him so I didn't drop him or he didn't fall, and slid into an empty building to avoid being trampled to death. "What-What's going on?" I managed out, looking down at the blue visor that was looking up at me.

"Decepticons." Jazz answered, climbing up my arm and sitting on my shoulder. "Ya migh' wanna run."

"Autobots don't run!" I tried, but then sighed. "But I ain't no Autobot, shoot, I'm wearing a Decepticon T-Shirt! …And you're…" I glanced at Jazz, trying to figure out what to say without hurting his feelings.

"A toy?"

"Tiny." I said instead, sighing. I reached into my purse and pulled out the weapon that came with Jazz: a rifle. "Here. Does this work?"

"We 'bout t' find out, lil' lady." Jazz took the rifle, aimed and fired. The blast nearly knocked the Autobot off of my shoulder, but he managed to grab onto the shoulder of my black shift. "It works!" He said, climbing back onto his 'perch'.

"O-kay…I see that now…"

"Die, Autobot!" A familiar voice yelled and my eyes widened; I scurried over to the door and peeked out, making sure Jazz was hidden. Of course, the Autobot wasn't having any of that; he climbed onto my head, holding onto my baseball hat, and peeked out as well.

Megatron was firing at an injured Ironhide as Soundwave and the coneheads started to load up some stolen energon. My mouth dropped and, instead of glomping the crap out of Ironhide's leg like I wanted to, hid back inside the building and looked at Jazz. "Okay…answer me this, Jazz…how are they real? How the slag are you real?!"

"Hmm…dun' know how ah was in yer world or got int' dis body," The silver Autobot shrugged as he sat on the top of my head. "All ah know is dat yer in our world now."

"…How?!"

"Ask Wheeljack or Perceptor. They'll know, not me."

"Point." I agreed, peeking out again. "Okay…so…we're in G1…not _too_ bad, I guess. After all, we could be stuck in Energon." I joked, but I was still nervous as the Pitt.

"Soundwave," Megatron said as he kicked the unconscious Ironhide away from him, "I want this city drained dry. Every last drop shall be ours."

"Yes, Megatron." Soundwave continued to load the energon with the coneheads as I looked around and, snatching Jazz off of my head, scurried over to the unconscious Ironhide and poked his cheek with my foot, making sure no one saw me.

"Psst! Hey! C'mon, 'Hide! Get your aft up!" I tried, poking him over and over again. "C'mon…at least get up t' call the other Autobots!"

"No use, kiddo." Jazz sighed as he climbed down my shirt and jumped, landing on the ground lightly. "He's out like a light. Ol' Ironhide always was a tough one t' wake up."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"

Something caught Jazz's optic and he glanced up. "Run." He said, jumping up and catching onto my purse. Within seconds, he was tucked in comfortably, the tip of his rifle sticking out and pointing behind me.

I flinched and groaned. "Let me guess. Decepticon…" I turned slowly and gaped. "Oh slag…Mega-Dork!" With a yelp, I ran for it, jumping over Ironhide's hand as I did so. "What d' I do?!"

"Run!" Jazz said again; I heard his rifle fire and my purse shook. "He's catching up!"

"Of course he is! I'm only five foot six! He's, what, twenty, thirty, forty feet?" I knew that the chase was over before it even began, but I didn't expect to be caught so quickly. Not even when the dark fingers circled around my body and lifted me into the air. "…This is so not good." I gulped, looking up at Megatron as his burning red optics glared into me, "Oh c'mon! The other humans last longer than that…"

"_I guess you're just slow." _Icould practically hear my brother teasing me. I was faster than him and he called me slow! Oh well…couldn't worry about it now.

Without thinking, I put my hand into my purse and slowly wrapped it around Jazz, making sure that he was still okay. He put his hand on my thumb and I sighed. He was okay. For now.

"Don't sound so relieved human," Megatron growled, not knowing I was relieved that Jazz was okay, and his grip tightened a bit. "You're not – oh, what's the human term? – out of the woods yet." He grinned and I glared, but then eeped when he growled.

"Yeah, well…" My brain kicked into overdrive, trying to think of a comeback. None came to mind, so I just blurted out, "You'll be sorry when the Autobots get here, Mega-Dork!" I felt my face burn a bit when he threw his head back and laughed. "What's so funny?"

He squeezed a bit more and I squeaked. I felt Jazz's grip on my hand tighten, he was feeling the pressure increase as well. "You pitiful humans. You always think the Autobots are going to rescue you."

"No, I've just seen every single episode of Transformers and know you get your aft handed to you by the Autobots is all." I shot back. He growled and tightened again, "Though," I admitted, "a rescue would be nice right about now…" However, that statement only made him laugh more.

"Autobot detected, Megatron." Soundwave said, standing up. I felt myself stiffen in Megatron's grasp. Was he talking about Jazz or were the Autobots going to live up to their last-second timing?

"Where?" Megatron growled; he glared at the coneheads and they grabbed the energon cubes and ran for it.

Soundwave was about to reply, but then got a confused look on his face – or rather, as much of a confused look on his face that he could get. He glanced at me and I eeped, tightening my grip on Jazz, but then released him when I remembered he was already being smushed enough by Megatron. He didn't need me squishing him. Megatron turned his head and looked at me. Suddenly, he was holding me in the air by the back of my shirt and I yelped as I dangled. I gripped onto my purse for dear life, hugging it near my chest as I shut my eyes tightly.

Megatron laughed. "Afraid?" He chuckled.

"Not of you, you dork! Of heights!" I yelped, feeling my lunch wanting to come up. Oh Primus, I hate heights! They make me want to puke and then faint! "Put me down!"

"Soundwave, where's the Autobot?"

"Sensors indicate the human has it." Soundwave said, but even with his voice monotone, I could tell he didn't believe it himself. I felt Megatron poke and prod me and I kicked his hand.

"Touch me again and I swear…" I left it hanging – no pun intended – because there was nothing I _could_ do to the Decepticon tyrant except threaten him.

With a whimper, I silently begged for my feet to touch solid ground. Little did I know that the moment I wished for it, it was granted. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw that Megatron had me in the palm of his hand and was looking me over. His optics rested on my chest and I realized he – finally – noticed the Decepticon insignia on my black shirt. Jazz squirmed in the purse and I held it closer.

"Hmph." Was all Megatron said as he looked at the shirt. Of course, then he happened to notice the Autobot necklace I had on and narrowed his optics. He reached for it and I realized I had to – in the words of the great country music duo Brooks and Dunn – 'boot, scoot 'n' boogie' out of there. The big oaf could break my neck if he wasn't careful.

"In the words of the 1980's Ninja Turtles…COWABUNGA!!" I yelled as I jumped off of his hand and plummeted towards the ground, kicking my legs freely for a few seconds before almost curling up. "Jazz, if we die, let me just say I love your voice and accent." I mumbled to the toy in my purse as the wind whipped by us.

I hit something metal hard and everything went black for a few moments. When things finally came back into focus, my head was hurting and ears were ringing, but I was alive. And the hand that was holding me was not black; not Megatron's. Someone shook my shoulder and I moaned, rolling over. Looking up, I saw Jazz standing on my chest and two worried optics looking down at me. I think I grinned drunkenly when I waved up because the worried only intensified.

"Heyas." I said, sitting up. Jazz rolled off of my chest and into my lap, but I caught him. "Sorry, Jazz-Man."

"'S okay." The action figure sat down in my hand after I picked him up and I glanced up at my savior. Ironhide. I swear, if my head had not been killing me, I would have glomped him for saving my life. "Dude, I love you." I said, smiling, but then realized what I said shook my head. "Did not mean it like that!"

Ironhide looked confused, but Jazz snickered. "Uh…whatever, kid. Look, we gotta get outta here." He said, looking around. I did the same and realized that the Decepticons were gone. For now. He transformed and I oofed as I landed in the front seat.

"C'n ya just drop me off at my house? Please? I need Tylenol…" I held a hand to my head as the seatbelt snapped itself. "And lots of rest…"

"No can do. Not until we figure out how Jazz got turned into…" He trailed off and I looked down at the toy that was sitting in my lap. I murmured something and laid my head back, "Just relax, kid. We're the good guys."

"Ironhide, I've been watching Transformers since I was four. I know that." I grumbled, trying to get as comfortable as I could with a sleeping Transformer in my lap.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen Jazz had fallen asleep in my lap. Had I been somewhat conscious, I would have fan-girl squealed, but truth is, I was too slaggin' tired to do anything. That and my head was killing me, yelling 'sleep!'

I obeyed my head and fell asleep when Ironhide laid the seat back and I pulled Jazz up to my head and I snuggled into the seat. Something pulled on my hair, now I think Jazz was using it as a pillow or blanket, but I ignored it and drifted off finally.

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YP: Ya read, please review.


	2. Enter Starscream

YP: Chap two: Enter Starscream

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"'Ey, kiddo!" Someone poked my head and I groaned, turning over. I heard someone yelp and there was a tug on my hair, but then it relented. I shut my eyes tighter, but the voice came back and I felt its owner shake my shoulder with two tiny hands, "C'mon, Al, get up!" 

"Mm…make me…" I murmured, blindly groping the metal table I was one until I grabbed my 'attacker' and lifted him up. "Just a few more minutes…" I dropped him and my hand hit the table limply. Usually, I'm very easy to get up, but there are some times when I just won't move; that was one of those times.

The southern voice sighed and nudged my hand with his foot. I mentally groaned and sat up, giving up. Rubbing my eye, I opened the other one and spotted Jazz looking up at me with my book bag behind him. I gave him a half wave and a grumbled complaint to Primus – considering I was still half asleep here, people – and reached over. I peeked into my backpack and realized my computer was still in one piece. Somehow, it had survived Megatron's squishing assault.

"Ha-ha!" I cheered as I turned it on, "It lives! Huh?" Glancing over upon feeling something crawling on me, I saw Jazz trying to sit on my shoulder. I helped him up and then giggled as I activated my computer. "Hey, Jerry, you there?" I asked.

The computer personality I had discovered on my computer while doing some fanfiction reading – Jerry, I had named him; in honor of Jerry Springer of course – popped up, much to my pleasure. His smilie appeared in a new window on my screen and waved at me. It, too, looked sleepy, but there was also a bandage on its forehead. Jazz slid off of my arm and bent down to look at the smilie.

"What 'appened t' ya?" He asked.

"That…buffoon, Megatron, nearly squished me, dolt." My computer replied once I had turned the Computer Narrator on; this time he had a British accent. After a moment, the bandage on the smilie disappeared and it pointed to Jazz, "Who," He sniffed, "is he?"

"Oh, c'mon, Jerr, you don't recognize Jazz?" I asked slyly, grinning. Jazz glanced up at me and shook his head.

"We don' 'ave time for dis, Al. Wheeljack's workin' on mah body an' I wanna see 'ow's it's goin'." He stated, making Jerry and me frown. Deep down, I knew he was right – okay, I didn't but I knew I had to listen to him – so I gave Jerry an apologetic look and shut my laptop. "Thanks." He said, nodding in thanks to me.

"No problem." I stuffed my laptop into my backpack and then pulled it on. I gave Jazz a look as he brought me my purse, but sighed, shrugged and put it on. "Get in." Bending down, I opened the flap of the blue jean purse and Jazz jumped in. He got comfortable and then peeked his head out of it. "What now?" I asked, exasperated. I loved the Cajun, but Lord, he was a handful.

"Aftah this, c'n we get somethin' t' eat? We never did get t' da movies…" Jazz pointed out, looking up at me. My stomach growled and I realized he was right.

"Alright, alright…jeez, I feel like I'm babysitin' a usually gaint robot here…whoops. I am." I saw the look Jazz gave me and cleared my throat, looking down from the really high table I was on. I started to get dizzy and I scooted as far back as I could from the edge. "Okay…that's scary…" My voice was a squeak when I spoke as I held onto my purse. "How do I get down from here?"

"Climb." Jazz shrugged.

"Hello! I'm scared of heights!" I pointed out to the bot, "And by that, I mean deathly scared. I get dizzy, sick and want to faint!"

"Well, dat takes climbin' off da list…"

"No duh, Sherlock." I murmured, but then gulped again. "Um…where's Ironhide? Or Ratchet? Or, heck, I'll take Cliffjumper, for Primus' sake!" I looked around nervously, "Just someone get me down from here!"

"Easy, girl, easy…" Jazz patted my arm from inside the bag as I started to panic, "Calm down. Ironhide's gettin' repaired by Ratch righ' now. After that battle, he needs it. But, ah c'n get Prowl, if dat works for ya."

"Anything! Jus' get me down…" I gave Jazz the most pleading look I could muster. He sighed and his visor dulled, going from sapphire to almost a navy blue. After a moment of quiet, I was just about ready to snatch him up and shake him, but then his visor clicked back on, "Well?"

"Prowl's on 'is way." Jazz reported, sinking down into my handbag. He glanced up at me, "Bondin' communication's 'ard at dis size…" He told me when he saw the look of concern I had on my face. "Don' worry, kid. Ah'm fine."

I nodded and sighed, waiting for the second in command of the Autobots to come into the room. Of course, I had a bunch of questions in my head, but I figured I'd save them for someone who probably knew the answers to them; either Perceptor or Wheeljack. Maybe Teletraan1 would know the answer. I didn't have long to think about who had the answers for someone's hand wrapped gently around me and lifted me up. Yelping, I grabbed onto the thumb and glanced up.

Right into Prowl's gentle blue optics.

He gave me a look that was mixed with curiosity and concern. I deadpanned and reached into my purse, pulling out Jazz. "Here's your bondmate." I said, holding him out so Prowl could see him. When Jazz waved, I swear I thought Prowl would faint, but he maintained his hold on his composure.

"What happened to him?" The mech managed out.

Shrugging, I put Jazz back into my purse so the mech could sit comfortable and I wouldn't hold him, "I have no idea." I said simply, "I don't even know how my little toy came to hold the spark of the saboteur. Or even if this is real."

I felt a pinch and yelped. Glancing down, I saw Jazz giving me the impression he was grinning. "Ya humans always say 'pinch me, must be dreamin'' so ah pinched ya. 'S real, Al."

I rubbed my arm, "Thanks, Jazz." I grumbled, but the mech just simply grinned up at me and I sighed. I glanced at Prowl for help, but he wasn't paying us any attention as he walked through the halls of the _Ark_, us still in tow. I crossed my arms and sighed, "Where we goin'?"

"Huh?" Prowl glanced down at me and I got the feeling he had forgotten about Jazz and me. How he did that while we were in his hand, I'll never know, but he totally forgot about us. He seemed to be off in another world; I had to forgive him. He was probably thinking about his bondmate, who I still had in my purse and wasn't even as tall as Prowl's ankle.

"Where. We. Goin'?" I asked slowly, looking up at him. Jazz peeked out of my purse, but I shut the flap on him.

Prowl put us down, "I believe Prime wanted to talk to Jazz…" He glanced down at my purse as it squirmed; Jazz was trying to break the magnetic clasp so he could get out again. "But he doesn't know you're awake…I'll go inform him if Jazz wants to go talk to Perceptor or Wheeljack about his body…"

Jazz finally got the clasp off and he popped out. "Of course ah do!" He agreed, "An' ah I wanna fin' out 'ow I got int' dis body!"

"We know, Jazz." I murmured, looking at both the toy and Prowl. Sighing, I put Jazz down and looked up at Prowl, "I'm game for whatever you guys wanna do." Truthfully, I wanted to meet Wheeljack – insert my almost perverted fangirl grin here – and see Jazz's body firsthand, but I couldn't if Jazz didn't want to. Technically, I was a guest and guests never trumped around without being invited.

Prowl and Jazz glanced at each other and I had a feeling I was being left out of a conversation. I pouted, but then Jazz tugged on the cuff of my blue jeans, "'Ey, Al, follow me." He said, walking away. I glanced up at Prowl, confused, but the Second-In-Command was already walking away while Jazz was trying to run.

Sighing, I caught up to him in a few steps. "Jazz, why don't I carry you and you tell me where to go?" I offered the toy, but he shook his head.

"Ah c'n do it, Al." With that, he transformed and sped down the hall. I sighed and ran after him. Well, he _was _going faster now. He turned a corner and I followed.

"Where we goin'?" I yelled to Jazz, who revved his engine and went faster.

"Wheeljack's lab!" Was the answer I got back. No explanation, just those two words. After another two minutes of running, Jazz transformed at a door and knocked as I caught up.

"I…gotta get in better shape." I said, looking down at the mech as I tried to catch my breath. Jazz just smiled up at me, but then we both looked at the door when it opened. "…Wheeljack!" I was now attached to his leg.

Wheeljack stumbled back, more surprised then hurt, and pulled me off his leg. He looked down at me and I grinned up at him. I heard Jazz laugh and next thing I knew, he was sitting on my lap and we were heading inside to go check on his body. He placed us down on a table and Jazz scurried over to something large, black and white that was lying on the berth next to us. I followed and blinked.

"Holy…" I murmured.

Jazz's original G1 body was lying next to us and it looked damage. Severally damaged. There was no way in heck that Jazz – had his spark been in that body still – would have survived. I scrambled up onto his chest, following Jazz's lead, and saw something I never thought I'd ever seen. Jazz's visor was gone, showing his beautiful optics. They were golden with red trimming the edges of them. I just wanted to touch them, but seeing the look on Jazz's face when he saw his body, I knew I couldn't.

"What happened?" I managed out, making sure not to step on any of the broken parts of Jazz's chest.

"Megatron and Motormaster." Jazz said unemotionally. That caught me by surprise and I looked down at him. His voice was_ never _unemotional; he always managed to voice something. "It wasn't a good day…"

"We've repaired half of the damage, but now were onto the worse half." I heard a familiar voice say; Jazz and I turned and saw Ratchet standing in the doorway. "It'll take a few days."

"Uh…question, here!" I raised my hand slightly; everyone glanced over at me, "Once we get the body repaired, how do we put his spark back in his body?" I asked, looking down at Jazz.

"We'll figure that one out when the time comes." Ratchet said, but then glanced down at Jazz and added, "Perceptor's got ideas, Jazz, but we don't know how to test them without trying them out on you. And if they don't work…"

"Bye, bye, sparky." I murmured. Everyone glanced at me and I winced, "Sorry. Jus'…stating the obvious here…" Jazz sighed and I picked him up. "Dude, we'll getcha back…until then…well…my purse is open for you." I tried to joke.

The slightest smile appeared on his face behind his mask – at least that's the way it looked – and I smiled back. I noticed two headfins flash out of the corner of my eyes and heard Wheeljack chuckle. Ratchet tried to hide the smile, but I noticed it formed on one corner of his mouth and he turned away. "Humans." He grumbled, walking away.

I laughed and Wheeljack picked us up. "Someone wants t' talk to ya, Jazz."

"Who?" We both asked; we glanced at each other and then shrugged.

"The twins." The engineer answered, carrying us both towards who knows where. I guessed the rec. room, but I've been wrong before.

I wasn't wrong this time. We entered the rec. room and instantly everything stopped. I felt like a western sheriff that had just walked into a bar full of outlaws and hooligans. Blaster even shut off the music for a second when he saw who Wheeljack was carrying.

"Jazz, m'man!" He beamed. "What's up?"

"Jazz?" Two voices asked; we both turned and saw Sunstreaker and Sideswipe sitting at one of the tables. Sunstreaker motioned for Wheeljack to come over and the engineer shook his head,

"Sorry, guys, but Ratch and I are still working on Jazz's body." He said, putting Jazz and myself down. With a wave of goodbye over his shoulder, he left us standing in the middle of the rec. room with all the Autobots that were present staring down at us.

I picked Jazz up and whispered, "Awkward…" in a singsong like voice. Jazz nodded in agreement as I scurried over to where the twins were sitting. I hid behind Sideswipe's leg and peeked out.

"She's a little mouse, ain't she, Sunny?" I heard one Autobot ask as Sunstreaker gave me a glance upon observing my hiding spot. He raised an optic ridge and I eeped. I loved the dude, but he had an attitude and I did _not_ want to get stepped on. Not by Megatron and most certainly not by Sunstreaker.

"I'm not a mouse." I squeaked out, looking up at the twins.

"C'm'ere." Sideswipe reached down and gently wrapped his hand around my body, causing me to squeak again. He put me down on the table in front of him and his brother and Jazz hopped off my shoulder. "Jazz-Man! …What's up with the new body?"

The yellow twin nodded, "Yeah, dude…you're…"

"Different?" Jazz asked.

"Tiny." Sunstreaker finished.

I swear I think Jazz sweatdropped. I picked him up and coughed, "I, um, kinda already did that one on him, sorry guys." I looked at the two and yelped when Sunstreaker bent his head down to look at me.

"Who are you?"

"Eep!" I scurried behind Sideswipe's arm, "Name's A-Alex…my friends call me Al." I managed, watching the yellow Lamborghini carefully. He must have realized I didn't like him staring at me that way because he glanced at his twin, who peered down at Jazz.

"What's up with her?" The red twin asked, raising his voice a bit to be heard over the resuming music.

Jazz shrugged and I frowned, "I'd like to see you be picked up by Megatron and hang from his fingers then tell me I shouldn't be afraid of Sunny's stare…" I eyed him from over Sideswipe's arm, "I swear he reminds me of Megsie when he gets angry…"

Sunstreaker snickered, "Megsie…" He grinned, "She's someone after my own spark." He put his hand on his chest dramatically and I glanced at Jazz; both of us rolled our optics. "I saw that." He pointed to both of us, a single golden digit in both of our faces.

"Eep!" I scooted back farther and glanced up at Sideswipe. "He scares me…"

"You're not the only one." Sideswipe chuckled, but then yelped when Sunstreaker grabbed his horn. "C'mon, Sunny! I was only joking!" He tried as Sunstreaker pulled him away from the table. The red twin gave me a look and shrugged. I shrugged back and then peered down at Jazz, who had made his way to the end of the table.

And looked ready to jump.

"Jazz!" I ran for him, but he jumped. I waited to hear the crunching of plastic parts, but the sound never reached my ears. Curios, I walked over and peeked down; Jazz was safely on the seat of a chair. "Jazz! You okay?"

"Jump down! It's not that far." He yelled up at me.

I shook my head furiously; not even a small fall for me. It only looked about ten feet, but I don't jump past six feet. Jazz jumped off of the chair onto the ground and ran to go do something, leaving me alone and on the top of a super-high table. I eeped and wrapped my arms around my legs. "I hate heights…I hate heights…" I looked around desperately for a way to escape from the top of the table, but there was none. Except for the option to jump, which I was not going to do.

My stomach rumbled again and I groaned. Great. Jazz had left me alone on the top of a table…and I was hungry. Not good… Looking around, I spotted Hound and tried to wave to him, but he wasn't paying any attention. Growling, I put my fingers inside my mouth and blew; the whistle got his sensitive hearing's attention.

"Hey! Jolly Green Giant!" I yelled over to the jeep, who turned and saw me. As he walked over, I pointed down. "Mind givin' me a hand?" I tried to yell over the music.

"What?" Hound yelled back.

"Give me a hand!" I pointed down.

Hound glanced down and then blinked. It took a moment, but then he realized what I was saying and held out his hand. I ran over and grabbed his thumb gratefully, hugging it. However, instead of putting me down, he carried me out of the rec. room, "What were you doing up there?"

"Y'know…just hanging around…listening to music…" I shrugged, sitting down in his hand. "Hey, dude?"

"Yeah?" Hound peered down.

"…Got any human food 'round here?" I asked bluntly, crossing my legs and holding onto my ankles. He blinked, but transformed; I landed in his front seat. "Ow! Could you all _please_ warn before you transform?"

"Sorry." Hound said, speeding out of the _Ark_ once I had snapped my seatbelt.

'S 'kay, man."

* * *

After I had finished eating my meal at McDonalds, Hound toted me around, showing me the city and asking me about my world and stuff like that. Because I was bored and Hound showed some intrest in human stuff, I told him everything he asked. Turns out, I wasn't in 1984, like the show was, but in 1990, four years after season two ended. It didn't really bother me much, seeing as how I was born in the nineties, but it unnerved me a bit.

After a bit, I glanced over to the seat next to mine and saw my backpack, just sitting there was happy as it could be. Sighing, I unzipped it and started to grab my computer when I saw two tiny, shining orbs looking up at me. I blinked. "Hey, Hound?" I asked.

"Yeah?" His voice came out of the radio, dimming the country music that was blaring. "What is it?"

"Amuse me, are there any red-opticed Autobots?" I asked, reaching into the bag.

"Not that I know of, why?"

"Oh, no reason…" I groped blindly for whatever was shining up at me when I felt something sharp bite down on my forefinger. Yelping, I pulled it out and looked at it; two tiny puncture wounds were bleeding a touch. "Okay, it's defiantly a Decepticon…only they have fangs…not counting you, Hound."

"Decepticon? Where?" Hound screeched to a stop as he rounded a mountain road and I yelped, almost being thrown out of the car if it wasn't for my seatbelt.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you wear a seatbelt!" I groaned, rubbing my chest. "Warn me next time, Hound!" I mumbled, reaching back into my backpack. I felt an arm – or a leg – and grabbed it. Pulling it out, I saw I was holding my die-cast Starscream by his leg as the seeker squeaked in protest and tried to struggle. "Well lookie lookie, Mr. Cookie…I find my a lil' seeker…"

Starscream glared up at me and aimed his null ray at my face, but I deadpanned and gently ripped it off of his arm. "Now, now, Screamer, none of that." I said, putting him down in my hand. "After all, I did rescue you from that plastic container that collector had you in, didn't I?"

Starscream squeaked something out and shook his fist in my face. I blinked and wonder why he didn't just fly away, but then I saw one of his wings was torn up badly. I ran my finger over the edge lightly as Hound continued to drive upon seeing the seeker in my hand was no threat. Starscream flinched at the gentle touch and smacked my hand away. I pretended it hurt to amuse the Decepticon and waved it slightly.

"What was that for, Screamer!" I barked at him.

He glared at me and looked at his wing; it sparked. I blinked and, holding him down with a finger, touched the wing again with my other finger. Starscream flinched and I did as well when a shot of electricity went through my finger. I stuck it in my mouth and sucked for a moment while holding Starscream down still.

"How the heck are you metal?" I asked, "Jazz is plastic, for Primus' sake!"

Starscream tried to bite my finger again and I sighed, picking him up by his foot. He squeaked in protest and grabbed onto my thumb, obviously not liking hanging upside down. "Oh calm down, you big baby," I snorted, "If I wanted to hurt you, I could crush you, remember? Or left you in that packaging."

"Put me down!" The higher-than-usual voice yelled up at me. I sighed and dropped him in my hand. "Oof!"

"How'd you get in my backpack?" I asked, stretching out and putting the seeker on my stomach. I watched him glare up at me and smirked, _How does it feel? _I thought, _To be looking at someone that's much taller than you? And knowing that they could squish you in an instant if they wanted to? Well, that's how the humans you tease feel._

"I don't know." The seeker said, crossing his arms.

I frowned and poked him slightly, "C'mon, Screamer. Okay, why didn't you get out earlier? Why'd you wait for me to open up the backpack?"

"…Because I wanted to surprise you! See?" He pointed to my injured finger and I raised an eyebrow.

"You couldn't get the zipper to open, could you?"

"So that's what it's called…I-I mean, of course I could! If I wanted to!" Starscream said, but then glared when I threw his null rays up into the air and caught them. "Give those back!" He took a step and aimed at me, but then dropped his arm when he remembered he had no null rays.

"Not just yet…" I said, sitting back and grinning. I was enjoying this. I grabbed my purse and opened it up, "Hop in."

"Alex!" Hound gaped.

"What?" I asked, "He's only, what, six, seven inches tall? He can't do any damage!"

"You'd be surprised what that little…" Hound trailed off in a curse I couldn't pronounce, and wouldn't dare repeat, "could do."

I glanced down at Starscream, who was ginning evilly upon thinking about the possibilities. I sighed, knowing that Hound was right and produced a spool of thin twine from my purse. "Good thinkin'." I told the Autobot as I grabbed Starscream by his foot again and lifted him into the air.

Quickly, I wrapped it a few times around Starscream's waist and tied it behind his back. I bit off a bit of string and tied the other end to my purse, which gave Starscream about a foot of walking room. Tucking the twine away, I smiled. "How's that?"

"Perfect." Hound said and I got the impression that, if he could in car mode, the jeep would be grinning from headlight to headlight.

Starscream tried frantically to untie the knot from behind his back, but couldn't get it. He growled and, out of desperation, tried to bite through the twine, but it didn't work. If anything, it only made me raise an eyebrow. He glared up at me and pointed to the string, "Untie me, human!"

"Um…no. Sorry." I said, putting him back down in my purse. He glared up at me and tried to fly, but his wing sparked again. Frowning, I reached for it, but Starscream hit my finger away again. "What happened to it?" I asked.

"Your computer hit it while you were running, human." He growled, but it was obvious I didn't believe it; or at least, I didn't believe it completely.

"What happened to _you_?" I poked his chest gently.

"Hmph!" Starscream looked away. "I do not have to tell anything to you, human!"

"Sure you don't…I'll figure it out…" With that, I tucked his null rays safely into a pocket of my bookbag, "Let's see…hmm…Megatron went to far this time?" Starscream looked up at me and I smirked, "When he used you as a punching bag, he went a bit to far…?" The seeker said nothing and I sighed, "Your silence says it all." I picked him up and petted his head. He snapped at my finger, but I moved it away in time.

"I am not your pet!" He snarled up at me.

"I never said you were." I snorted down at him.

"Now, now, children." Hound said, chuckling slightly. "No need to fight."

"He started it!" I pointed to Starscream, who pointed up at me.

"She did!" The seeker defended himself, "What am I saying? I don't gave to defend myself to _you_."

"You are, though." Both Hound and I pointed out. Starscream growled and opened his mouth to say something, but then pointed up behind me. I winced and groaned. "Megatron again?"

"Hound to Autobot Base!" Hound yelled as a shot nearly hit his tire. I groaned out loud and mentally.

"There's my answer…" I grabbed Starscream and stuffed him down into my purse. "Stay down!" I shut the cover over him and grabbed onto my backpack, holding to my chest tightly and shoving my purse down into it. I held onto the seat and yelled as Hound started to serve. "What's going on?!" I yelled.

"They popped a tire! Hang on, kid!" With that, the Autobot jumped off of the road and sailed into the air. I screamed and closed my eyes, loosing my stomach the moment he turned. He hit the ground hard and the car trembled, but kept going. "Ya okay?"

"We're gonna die!" I yelped, "I'm gonna throw up, then we're gonna die!"

"Not on my watch, kiddo." Hound tried to assure me as he turned quickly, going up on two wheels. Just as he went down to get on all four again, a shot hit the underneath of the car and we rolled.

I swear I think I screamed my lungs out as we rolled down one of the many hills and landed upside down. I panted and looked around as I hung there. "Ladies and gentlemen, another reason we wear seatbelts!" I pointed out, unhooking mine. I fell flat on my face, but quickly climbed out. "Hound? Hound, you okay?" I asked, trying frantically to push the jeep back onto his wheels.

"Ugh…ooh…" A groan was all I got from the Autobot as I continued to try to push him over.

"Get me out of here!!" I heard Starscream's voice scream from inside my backpack and purse. I groaned and shook my head, trying to push the vehicle over.

"C'mon, Hound! Roll over!" I paused and then blinked. "I did not mean that in a dog-like way." I continued to push him, but couldn't make him move. Finally, the Autobot moaned and transformed, lying on his back.

"That hurt." He muttered, sitting up and rubbing his arm. "Ooh…"

"At least you're alive." I muttered under my breath, but then yelped and jumped when a shot nearly blasted my backpack. I grabbed it up, "But we may not be for long. Transform already!"

"I can't! My tires are flat!" Hound rolled over and covered me with his body, creating a holographic image just as a shot hit his back. He bit back a yell and looked down at me. "Say nothing." He whispered.

"I've seen this show before!" I hissed back, "I know what to do!"

Hound let out a yell and rolled off of me; the holographic image disappeared and I whimpered, staring up at Soundwave. The Decepticon reached down and I yelled, running over to Hound.

"Get up! Get up!" I kicked him, but he wouldn't budge. He was in stasis. "Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no!" I quickly played a game of Iny Meany Miny Moe and ran in one random direction.

"Starscream detected." Soundwave's voice said from behind me and I yelped, running faster. I didn't want to know how he knew that I had the seeker; I just knew I wanted to run.

Suddenly, I felt everything stop moving and looked down. My feet were moving, but I wasn't. I glanced up and squeaked. Rumble had me by the scruff of my collar and was holding me a few inches off of the ground as Soundwave and Megatron came closer. "I have no idea where Starscream is!" I yelped out, struggling.

Megatron opened his mouth to say something, but then realized what I said. He narrowed his optics and bent down, "Where is he, human? You fleshies wouldn't say something like that unless you know something…"

"…Search me?" I shrugged. "I have no idea…"

"Good idea…" He offered me to Soundwave and the mech put his fingertips to my head. I felt a jolt of energy go through me and the Decepticon blinked. He pointed to my book bag and Rumble snatched it from me.

"Hey! Give it back!" I yelled.

Rumble ignored me and ripped it open. He snorted at the laptop and then spotted my purse. Opening it, his visor lit up. "Ah-ha…" He reached in and pulled out Starscream. "Is this what you were scanning, Soundwave?"

"Affermitive." Soundwave nodded.

"It's a toy!" Megatron snorted, glaring at the unresponsive Starscream. He snatched the toy and crushed it in his hand, dropping me.

"Starscream!" I yelped, looking up. Oh, that was totally going to screw up the time line and the line of events to come for the Transformers. Especially when time for the Transformers movie to happen.

Megatron dropped the pieces at my feet and growled. "Find that deserter! Now!" He yelled, flying off with Soundwave and Rumble at his heels.

"Oh man! Oh man!" I picked up the pieces of Starscream and held them in my hands. I spotted something and touched one of the wings.

"Ow!" A familiar, high-pitched voice squeaked. "That hurts."

"Starscream?" I asked, looking around.

"Shut up, human." Starscream grumbled, crawling out of my book bag. He held up the edge of the string that had been tied around his waist and I noticed it was singed. "Make sure next time, you keep my null rays farther from me." He grumbled and then saw what happened to the toy Megatron had squished. He winced and I noticed the look on his face; he was glad that certainly wasn't him.

"But-but…how? What about…?" I put the pieces of the seeker in my purse and Starscream cackled. I narrowed my eyes. "You destroyed my G1 repaint!" I screeched, "I worked hard to paint that thing!"

He cackled. "Sorry, but it was that thing or my life. And I'm a Decepticon, human." He winked, "I put myself before others." He yelped when I yanked him up and started to crush his body. "What-What are you doing?!"

"I worked hard on that thing! It was the last Skywarp I could find!" I yelled, feeling his wings bend in my hand. His face twisted with pain and he tried to get away, but my grip only increased. "You little-!"

He squeaked and struggled harder. "Put me down! You're crushing me, human!" The seeker looked up at me desperately, but I ignored the pitiful look. Slag that Decepticon! I took – and still do – great pride in my work and he…he dared to offer it up as a sacrifice to save his pitiful hide! I squeezed harder and Starscream yelled in pain, trying to kick me.

I hissed as his wing shot out more sparks, singing my hand. I dropped him and he hit the ground, panting hard. "My-My wings!" His voice sounded surprised and I looked down; his wings were not longer straight, they were bent so they nearly encased his body. He put his hands on the edges and tried to push them to straighten them, but that only caused him pain.

I realized what I had done and gently picked him up. He tried to twist away from my hand, but I held him still. "If I can get some tools…" I touched one of the wings tenderly and he flinched away. He aimed his null ray at me and fired; it hit my cheek and I yelped, but didn't drop him. "I deserved that, huh?"

"Hey! You okay?" Sideswipe's voice asked as Starscream opened his mouth to say something. I nodded and the Autobot picked me up. "Whoa! Starscream!" He tried to snatch the mech, but I slapped my hand over the other. "What?"

"Don't touch him." I glared, but then it softened. "Where's Hound? He okay?"

"Ratch is takin' him back to the base now." Sideswipe nodded, transforming. I cursed as I fell into his seat.

"I keep telling y'all to warn me when you do that!" I fumed, letting go of Starscream so the seeker could sit on my shoulder as I logged into my computer.

"What happened to the seeker?" Sideswipe's obvious disdain for Starscream shone like a thousand stars in that sentence as I typed in my password.

"Same thing that happened to Jazz." I didn't bother to look up from my computer as Jerry's smilie appeared. I grinned at it and Starscream looked confused. "Heyas, Jerr."

"Good evening, young miss." Jerry's British accent was still there, but he sounded a bit more Queen's British then normal British.

"Quit the accent, dude." I sighed, then glanced up at Sideswipe's radio, "Megatron went too far this time when he used Starscream as a punching bag." I informed the red Lambo Twin. "And he also crushed the toy Starscream I had with me…"

"Ow." Jerry winced, knowing how I was about my repaints.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"You have a toy Starscream?" Sideswipe snorted, "What about me?"

"You're hard to find, dude, you and your brother…but I do want your toys!" I nodded to the car as Starscream slid down my arm and activated Spider Solitaire. He began to play and I leaned back. "Really!"

"How rare?" Sideswipe asked.

"A lot of people have one, they've quit making them…so it's hard to get you…" I sighed, "Really hard…" I patted Starscream's head and the seeker growled, continuing his game as Jerry helped him out. "Just like this guy…that's why I was ecstatic when I managed to repaint my extra Skywarp toy into one…but then at Christmas I got him…oh well. Had two Starscreams." I shrugged.

"You could have sold one." Jerry suggested in a Yankee accent; it made me twitch. Northerners…

"Good thing the human didn't or I'd be in pieces." Starscream inputted as he put an ace on a two.

"Who asked you?" Jerry and Sideswipe asked.

Starscream grumbled, but said nothing as he continued to play while we rode back to the _Ark_ in silence. Once there, I gently picked him up and put him in my purse, closing my laptop. "Hey!" He complained, but I put my finger in front of my mouth, telling him to shush.

As soon as Sideswipe had transformed, I ran for the rec. room, not really wanting to talk to any member of the _Ark_ until I found a place to hide Starscream. And get him tied up so he couldn't hurt anyone.

* * *

YP: Ya read, please review. 


	3. Running From A Sunflower

* * *

A few hours later, Jazz had finally come back from his talk with Prime, but wouldn't talk about it. I begged and pleaded, but the Cajun just wouldn't budge. So, we decided to just watch a movie. Okay, he decided to watch a movie, I was still up for exploring the city, but, of course, Jazz wasn't willing to put me in any more danger.

As one of my fan characters would say, 'killjoy butthead with a side of fries.' People who know me should eventually figure out who said that once.

So, as the movie _Dracula _played, Jazz watched intently while I sat on the couch, legs crossed in front of me, while Starscream was planted firmly in my lap, me holding him down at times, as I fixed his wings. The seeker was being a little drama king, making yelps and growls and threats whenever the tiniest bit of pain shot through him. However, I didn't give him a response, it was what he wanted. And, if there was one thing I've learned from watching Transformers, it's if you give any Decepticon a response, they'll win.

"Hold still." Jazz said from where he was stretched out lazily on the couch next to my leg, watching the movie, "It'll hurt less."

"Imbecilic Autobot!" Starscream yelled, tying hard to fight me. However, I had his arms pinned over his head with my left hand's forefinger and wasn't willing to let him shoot me again. I had deserved the last one, but that doesn't mean I was eager to be shot again.

"Ooh, big word. This one has four syllables." I mumbled as I managed to get his right wing straightened, "You get a gold star."

"Human!"

"Oh shut up. I'm _trying_ to be gentle, but it's not my fault you jerk and twitch every time my tool comes down on your wing. Look, I've already gotten one done, so just shut up, relax and hang on."

Starscream obvious didn't like the idea, but he didn't really have much of a choice. However, I've got to give him credit, he knew when to shut up and leave me to my work. The smart bastard. Jazz chuckled as Dracula tore someone's throat out and I grimaced. However, he gave me a gentle look that assured me he was laughing at Starscream and myself and not at the gruesome scene that was playing. I simply nodded in understanding and continued to work on the seeker's left wing.

Once that was done, I made sure the twine around his waist before releasing his arms. He immediately stood and tried to fly, but then frowned when his wings sparked. I popped a toothpick into my mouth and took on a deep Southern accent – and by that I mean deeper than the one I already had.

"Sorry, bud, but, uh, dat'll take a bit longer t' fix, y'know…maybe a couple-a days?" I gave him a grin. Starscream glared up at me and I shrugged. "Sorry, but, uh, ah repair plastic. Not metal. Gotta get Ratch t' 'andle dat."

Jazz laughed as Starscream got red in the face. "I will not ask an Autobot to help me!" He screeched up at me and I proudly pointed out that he had to get a human to repair his bent wings. Jazz only snickered louder and Starscream only got angrier, "I did not ask you!"

"No, butcha needed my help, dude." I said, pulling the toothpick out of my mouth as my deeper-than-usual accent disappeared, replaced by my normal Southern accent.

Starscream growled and aimed his null ray at my face. Jazz instantly got to his feet and aimed his rifle at the seeker. Both fired and Starscream yelled when the shot hit his cockpit, shattering its glass. I yelped, but then, out of pure luck, the shot bounced off of my glasses, but that was when the good luck ended. It hit Sunstreaker, leaving a tiny scorch mark. All three of us cursed out loud in Cybertronian and looked at each other when Sunstreaker locked his glare on us.

"…RUN!" Starscream screamed and, for once in his life, his words were really good advice.

Jazz jumped and transformed, driving out of that room as I chased after him. However, before I could leave, I heard Starscream's yell of fear and cursed. Turning around, I spotted the seeker barely dodging a peeved Sunstreaker's foot as the Autobot tried to crush him. I had to give him credit where credit was due; Starscream was managing to drag my purse along with him as he ran.

_I hate myself…_ I thought before putting my hands to my mouth and yelling, "Hey, Sunflower! Nice paintjob! What'd you do, go jump in a vat of chalk and hoped it matched? Maybe ran through a field of yellow daises?" I instantly regretted feeling compassion for Starscream when the action I did on a whim for him worked.

Sunstreaker turned and glared at me. I heard Sideswipe groan and saw him smack his face. He gave me a look of sympathy, but I mentally yelled 'screw you' as his twin came closer to me and he did nothing to stop him. I looked over at where Starscream was and saw he was running as fast as his legs would carry him towards the exit. Sunstreaker was almost ten steps away when Starscream got right where I needed him to be.

"What did you say about my paintjob?" Sunstreaker's voice was calm, _deathly_ calm.

I gulped and got shifty eyes. "Uh…gotta go." I said in such a way it would make Jim and Tim from Kim Possible proud. I dashed for the exit, swiping up my purse and Starscream as I did so. "See ya, Sunflower!"

Sunstreaker must have been stunned by the sudden run for a moment, for I heard nothing coming from him, but then his footsteps followed me. He wasn't running, no, he was walking. And that terrified me. He wasn't even trying to make it look like he thought I could get away from him.

I was in deep slag with the elder twin.

"I hate you." I hissed at Starscream as I peered down at the seeker, who was dangling the midair by the twine that was around his hips. He didn't respond, just turned around so he was looking up at me and gripping the string like a lifeline, which it was.

If he fell, I was not – and I repeat, _not _– going after him again.

"In 'ere!" I heard Jazz's voice hiss and I froze, looking around for the mini-saboteur. I found him peeking out at me from the entrance to Wheeljack's lab. "C'mon! 'Fore Sunny sees ya!"

I gasped in response, breathless, and lunged into the room just as I heard Sunstreaker turn the corner. The door shut behind me and I merely laid on the ground, thanking God that Jazz was smart enough to find a place to hide. I looked over and nodded my head in thanks to him, still trying to catch my breath from the fear and running, and he gave me a thumbs up in response. He was obviously grinning behind that mask of his. Okay, now that I look at it from where I was laying, it looks like a mask, but it may just be the way his faceplate is.

Oh, who cares? (Okay, I'll admit it, I do.)

After a moment, I sat up and nodded. "Yeah…defiantly gotta get in better shape…of course, I have ran towards or from giant robots at least twice today…"

"At least?" Jazz joked.

"I've lost count. Can't count that high." I grinned and shrugged, then remember Starscream. "Oh! Screamer, ya okay?" I pulled my purse into view and tugged on the string until Starscream, who was scraping his nails against the floor, trying to fight me, came into view as well. "Whoa…ya okay, ya annoying 'Con?"

"Don't talk to me like that." Starscream squeaked out as he looked up at me. To his credit, he sure as heck knew how to hide his fear. At least in his voice, that is. He gazed at the door, betraying his defense, "That bot is psychotic!"

"You just now figured that out?" I smirked, "Took ya long 'nough."

Starscream just glared at me as Jazz chuckled, shaking his head. I picked both Autobot and Decepticon up, holding one in each hand, and sighed. I really didn't have anything to say, but I didn't want to let them out of my sight. Either one of them. Primus knows the two of them could and would get in plenty of trouble. And the Good Lord knows that they still would, which is why I was going to keep them in sight. So I could get in trouble with them.

At the thought of running from another member of the _Ark,_ I laughed. Both looked at me like I was insane and I shrugged. "Sorry. Just…thinking 'bout something…" I said, lifting Jazz up to my right shoulder. "Wan' a ride?"

"Don' min' if'n I do." Jazz scrambled onto my shoulder and sat comfortably.

"Don't worry, I don't."

"What about me?!" Starscream yelled up at me and I looked down at him. Did I seriously trust him to ride on my shoulder? Heck, no! I have shoulder length, wavy hair. The kind that begs to be yanked. I wasn't going to allow him to do that. The seeker kicked my thumb and I yelped, instinctively putting the injured body part in my mouth.

"What was that for?" I mumbled around my thumb as Starscream hung from my pinkie. He glared up at me and I sighed, turning my hand over to he could sit in my hand.

Stupid me.

With a grunt, the no-good Decepticon jumped and climbed into my hair. I yelled and cursed as I felt him pull my hair and kick my head while he scrambled to get him somewhere good to sit. "Starscream!" I yelled, reaching up. I felt something hot press against my finger and tensed slightly. His null ray. "Don't think about it."

"I will." Starscream threatened. I felt the edge grow hotter and I lowered my hand.

"Fine." I crossed my arms and gave Jazz a look, but the Autobot shrugged. "You're a lot of help."

"Sorry, lil' lady," He said earnestly, "But I can' do nothin'."

Slag that accent! I've just met him – in real life, of course – and already know I can't stay, or even get, mad at the Autobot. The accent ish just too hot! I mumbled something under my breath in response that made both Transformers snicker. "Oh shut up, both of you, before I sell you to the junkyard for five bucks each."

"You wouldn't." Starscream said.

"You can't!" The Cajun on my shoulder gasped.

"I will if you two don't shut up." Okay, I was grumpy. I needed some Starbucks. No, not coffee. I needed something with caffeine, but no coffee. I snickered softly when I remembered the magnet I had gotten my daddy for Father's Day from the Zoo. It had a little iguana on it with a coffee mug beside it and, in white letters that didn't cover the two things completely, it said "No Coffee, No Workee," he had loved that.

We both needed our caffeine, whether it be coffee or an ice drink from Starbucks that always left me with at least four dollars less that I had before.

"Guys…" I said in my best sneaky girl voice, "Can we head to the city?"

"No!" Both yelled; I knew that Jazz would say that, but why did Starscream agree with him? It wasn't fair.

Huffing, I crossed my arms. "Guys…I need my caffeine." I tried to reason with them, "If I don't get either it or sleep, I get very, very cranky. And unless you want a cranky authoress tugging you two around all day and night until we get you back in your right bodies and me in my dimension and time, I suggest we go to town. Now."

I had a feeling the two were considering this, so I added on, "Starscream, you don't wanna end up being my dog's chew toy, do you?" Okay, sometimes, I was as sneaky and evil as a Decepticon and loved it.

"Okay, okay!" Starscream yelped, but I could sense that Jazz didn't like the idea. However, he didn't voice it. He just slid off of my arm and into my purse, which yanked it down a bit. "Waaaagh!" The seeker that was still on my head was jerked from his spot into the purse by the sudden pull on his 'leash'.

I giggled and snapped shut me purse. "Awesome!" Grabbing my book bag, I ran for it. No one would notice I was gone – along with two certain Transformers toys – and we would be back before we would be missed, simple as that.


	4. A Prisioner of the 'Cons

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing 'cept my Jazz and Sarscream toy...and myself!! And the plot. ONWARDS!!!

* * *

"Bloody 'Cons." I murmured, looking over at the two toys that were sitting on a small table in the cell as I paced. "Can't you use your comm.?" I asked the silver Autobot, who was watching me.

"Sorry, lil' lady, but ah've tried. It jus' don' work down 'ere." Jazz answered, giving me a look of apology. He winced when I cursed in Cybertronian. "Where'd a lady like you learn dat?"

"Ya don' wanna know." I answered, sitting down on the corner of the desk and looking at the two mechs, "Okay, Ratchet."

"Should-a known…"

"Yup." I agreed, looking around the Decepticon cell. Third time's the charm, as people say, and the third time to try to get us had been successful. And on that time, the Decepticons had discovered Starscream. Luckily, they hadn't killed him.

Yet.

I sighed and rubbed my eyebrow with my fore and middle finger. "What about your bond with Prowl?" I was getting desperate, though I already knew the answer to that question would be,

"Tried, bu' in dis body, 's hard. Don' 'ave as much spark energy as ah need t' contact Prowl." Jazz shook his head and then winced as I growled and fell back, head wacking the desk.

"Ow."

I felt someone climbing and saw Starscream standing on my stomach. I frowned, but he matched it with one of his own. "What do you want?" I grumbled, lying my head back down, "You're back with your 'Cons. Ain't you happy?"

"You Autobots give up to easy." He told me, narrowing his red optics at me.

"Oh, so now I'm an Autobot and not a human to you, Screamer? I feel so happy." I held up my hand and rotated my forefinger in a sarcastic celebration, "Whoo."

Starscream's frown deepened and I heard Jazz say something to the seeker, but it didn't work. He took a few steps closer to my face, but then stopped before he got to my chest. "Human…" He warned and I saw his null ray charging.

Sighing, I lifted him up by his foot. He yelped and I watched him struggle for a moment before putting him down gently, "Don't get me mad, Starscream," I warned lazily, "You remember what happened last time?" I gave his wing a pointed look.

He glared and put a hand on his wing, obviously very proud of them. I snorted and sat back up. "Hey!" He walked back into my viewing range, "Don't you walk away from me, human!"

"Well, which am I? Autobot or human? Make up your mind."

Jazz snickered at my game with the seeker and I picked both up by their waist gently. Starscream started to aim his null ray again, but I used my pinkie to push it down. "Easy there, cowboy, no need t' use excessive force here. Ah'm the sheriff 'round these parts, an' ah say no null rays shall be pointed at the authoress. T'ank ya." I grinned before putting them both down and grabbing my computer. "I've got an idea, anyways."

"Oh yeah?" Starscream sneered.

"Yeah, so shut up." I shot back, "Or you'll be staying in this cell."

"I could leave any time." The seeker said as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked around.

"I'm sure." My disbelief was so obvious in my voice and face that Starscream looked outraged. I snorted and logged onto my computer, "Screamer, get over here."

He refused and I grabbed his foot again, dragging him over. With a growl, he crossed his arms and glared up at me. "What do you want?"

I looked at Jazz and Starscream and put him down before pointing to the computer. "You still partly metal?" I asked; he nodded, watching me carefully, and I smiled. "Good! You know the way out of here? Wait, of course you do…give Jerry the codes."

"What?!" My computer and Starscream yelled. I winced and cleaned out my ears.

"Ow…my ears…" I muttered, adjusting my glasses. Now, do it or Jazz and I'll never get outta here."

"What makes you think that I would ever?" Starscream dared, narrowing his optics.

I grinned and got eye level with him, "Cos I can crush you." I told him. His optics got a bit nervous and I gave him a sarcastic grin. "Do it."

He mumbled something and walked over to the computer. He found a small jack and touched the back of his head, pulling out a small wire. It took a minute for it to fit, but then number after number along with symbols appeared on my screen. Jerry's smilie started to eat as the symbols and numbers were saved. Starscream unplugged himself and glared at me.

"Slag off!" He snapped, seeing my face. I just grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

Jazz chuckled as he shook his head, "Nevah thought I'd see da day when ol' Screamer gets beat by a human."

"And a female one, t' boot." Jerry grinned. Starscream narrowed his optics and flew off into another corner of the cell. "Aww…we made him mad."

"Too bad." I mumbled, continued to type. "Alright, Jerr, can you hack into the 'Con comp and get us outta here?"

"I can try." Jerry corrected me. A small laptop appeared in front of his smilie and I nodded, looking over at Starscream.

I growled and sighed all in one breath. "I hate Decepticons." I told Jazz, who nodded. "Especially whiny ones."

"What was that?" I heard Starscream growl from where he was standing. His red optics were obvious, even in the dark, as he glared at me.

I shook my head, "You heard me, Screamer."

Starscream glared and I grinned. A shot was fired and nearly hit my head, but I managed to flinch away just in time. Looking behind me, I saw that the shot wasn't from Starscream – the scorch mark was way to big – but from someone else. I eeped and looked up slowly; Rumble was standing in the door way with his blaster aimed at the three of us.

"Megatron wants t' see ya." He said, grinning at us.

I stuck my tongue out at him, but then yelped when a shot nearly hit my head. Glancing over at Jazz, I saw the silver Autobot reaching for his rifle, but I shook my head. He glared and grabbed it, but didn't fire. I stood and picked up Jazz, putting him on my shoulder, and grabbed Starscream, making sure he didn't fly away. Jerry gave me a nod, saying he was almost done, and I picked him up.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Rumble grumbled as I headed over slowly. I grinned and shut the laptop, letting Jerry continue his work.

"C'ming!" I placed my laptop in my book bag, grabbed my purse and followed. Rumble sneered.

"Humans and your things…"

"You and that horrible accent."

"What was dat?!" Rumble yelled as he pushed me; I stumbled, but didn't fall.

Sniffing, I flipped him off and the Decepticon grabbed my arm, pulling me towards his leader's quarters. Okay, this sucked, but we could get of this…somehow. Jazz cursed under his breath so only I heard him, mostly due to the fact he was right beside my ear, and I grinned.

"I agree."

Rumble looked up at us, but said nothing. I gave him a slag-eating grin and carried both of my toys on my shoulders as he led us. Once we got to the Tyrant's quarters, Rumble knocked on the door and didn't even bother to wait for an answer before shoving us in. I heard him say, "They're as good as slagged," before the door shut behind us.

I clapped my hands together in a way as such a kindergarten teacher would when addressing her students and smiled a totally fake smile, "Well, boys and girls, aren't they warm and inviting? They'd make Martha Stewart proud!" I exclaimed.

Jazz chortled from my shoulder and I swear I heard Starscream suppressing his snickers. I just grinned, but it fell when I remembered where I was. Looking up, I spotted Megatron peering down at us and I eeped. "Mega-Dork!"

He growled, obviously not liking the nickname millions of fans had bestowed upon him, and stood from where he was sitting on his berth. He walked over and bent down so we were almost at optic/eye level. I could _feel _his red optics burning into my soul as I matched his stare, but tried to push the nerves away. Had to stay strong in order to have even the slightest hope of getting out of there.

Jazz slid from my shoulder and onto the floor. He clutched my pants leg tightly, giving me a 'hug' of courage. I felt it swarm through me and clenched my fists, "Yo, dude. Sup?"

He narrowed his optics. "Do not talk to me like that, human!" He roared, "You will treat me with respect."

"Whew!" I waved my hand in front of my face, "You need some Tic-Tacs, brothah! Yer breath is kickin' like Jackie Chan!" I coughed and Starscream suppressed even more snickers. Jazz hugged my leg more; I knew he was grinning.

Megatron snarled louder and my eyes widened. Inside, I was shaking and about to faint, but I managed to put on a fake smile. He raised his hand and I yelped, crouching down. "You're just as weak as the other humans."

"You're just as weak as the other humans." I said in a mocking tone, "Oh, just look at me. I'm big 'n' bad, Megatron. I control the Decepticons who can't even win a single battle." I gave him a glare that said 'just TRY me!'

Megatron's hand collided with me and I went flying. I hit the wall and something just snapped. Pain like fire shot through my torso and I couldn't breathe without the pain shooting through me again. Wincing, I gave him a glare out of one eye as the other tried to shut itself. Apparently, I was getting a black eye from his finger.

"Oh yeah, that hurt." I stood and looked around. Starscream was flying in the air, looking at me, and Jazz was sitting by my leg, dazed. Picking him up, I gazed back at Megatron, "Do you have anything better to do than knock a human down all day?"

Seething, Megatron raised his hand again and I gasped; pain shot through my ribs and chest again. He lowered it and growled loudly, "How did you turn my warrior into a…a toy!"

"Don't know. Don't care…" I looked at Starscream, "But I do know he's a lot cuter now. Less dangerous. Just as treacherous."

Starscream seemed proud at that remark, but Megatron only got angrier. Jazz slid into my purse and I spied my laptop. It beeped; I snatched Starscream and turned my back to Megatron, "Screamer, you don't owe me anything, but snatch up Jazz and fly as fast as you can. Please."

"Why should I?" Starscream snarled.

"Human!" Megatron boomed, "Turn back around! Face me!"

Ignoring him, I made my eyes beg Starscream, "_Please_. If you don't agree to take Jazz, we're all going to die. Including you." He winced visibly and I pulled the dazed Autobot out. Offering him to the seeker, I smiled thankfully.

"Shut up." Starscream snarled and nodded, taking Jazz. He flew into the air and then waited for the signal.

"HUMAN!!!!" Megatron boomed even louder.

"SHUT UP!!!" I screamed, turning around and dashing towards my laptop. "Now, Jerry!" I ordered and the door opened. Snatching up the laptop, I followed the zooming Starscream as he flew away.

Pain shot through my body as I struggled to run. Even pant was horrible and every step shot pains – like a thousand needles – into my legs, ribs and back. I felt a sob try to force its way out, but I forced it down. Had to run. Had to get away. Had to at least let Starscream and Jazz get away. I couldn't let two of the most loved Transformers die because I was slowing them down. If I did, my friends would kill me. Heh…my online friends, that is.

That thought made me snort as I continued to run; footsteps followed me, but I only pushed myself harder. My friends would kill me if I let them die. Oh Lord, Storm would murder me painfully in my sleep if I let Jazz die. Lady Starscream….she'd help all of the Starscream fan girls murder me VERY, VERY painfully if I let Starscream die. Then she's kill me again because I let Jazz die. Once all that was done, Tahalli and Death would murder me again and again until I stayed dead.

"Starscream! Take care of Jazz for me!" I yelled as the tiny seeker flew into the lift and activated it. Jazz's blue visor locked on my eyes and I waved…right before Megatron snatched me up and started to squeeze. Screaming, I threw my head back and fire shot through my body; my bones started to fracture and break as my lungs were squeezed. I couldn't get air.

The lift shut and flew up. They were gone and – if Primus or whatever god was out there, looking after the Transformers – they would make it back to the Autobots. Or at least to someone who could get them there.

Darkness clouded my vision and the squeezing stopped. Looking up, the last thing I saw before blacking out was Megatron's face, staring down at me with hatred, rage and a look that made me smile. "I won…Mega-Dork."

* * *

When I awoke, Hook was standing over me, grumbling something about why did he have to do everything. I snorted a little too loud for my own good and he noticed me. He grinned horribly and I eeped. "I hate you people." I pointed to him, sitting up.

He poked my chest and pushed me down. Fire exploded inside of me, "Stay down. You're ribs are shattered. Megatron did a number on you." He chuckled and I flipped him off.

Letting out a string of curses that would make my OC wince, I spat at him and he frowned. He pushed my ribs harder and I screamed. Once he had removed his over-sized finger, I flipped him off again and again until he turned from me. "Mother-frikin' slagger."

"Thank you." Hook said as he continued to keep his back to me.

"Oh go interface with a toaster, you over-glorified pile of scrap."

He snorted, "Got a mouth."

I grinned. "Got it from my mom." I shuddered slightly in pain and withered when my ribs shot more fire through my body. "Slaggit! How many did he break?"

Hook turned around with a REALLY BIG needle in his hand. "Half of them." He said, aiming the needle at me. I yelled and struggled to back away. "You're afraid of a needle?"

"That frikin' thing's twice my size!!! I have a right to be!!!" I pointed out. Okay, so I'm a baby when it comes to needles. So sue me! Everyone has fears. Mine is heights, needles and the occasional Decepticon that squeezes me until I snap. "Don't touch me with that!! You hear me?!"

He held me down with two fingers and the needle pressed into my arm. My defenses fell and I sobbed. He pulled it out once he injected whatever it was into my arm and looked at me. "All finished. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

The next words out of my mouth for the next five minutes were nothing but curses that would make the Lambo twins wince and cry for their mommies. Hook just watched me with amusement and chuckled. Flipping him off, I rolled over and grabbed my ribs. "I hate you all…I hate you. I hate Megatron. I hate Starscream. I hate Ratchet. I hate Jazz for bringing me into this. I hate you all…" My arm throbbed as the liquid coursed through my bloodstream. Nausea overwhelmed me and I emptied my stomach and its contents onto the berth.

"I hate you most of all."

"Good." Hook sneered, "You're not supposed to be my friend. Just my experiment."

My defenses crumbled. "I want to go home." I barfed again and sobbed, "I want to go home. I want my brother. …I want…I want to die."

"Soon enough, soon enough, human. But not just yet." Hook nudged me and rolled me over. He had a data pad in his hand and was taking down information. "How'd Starscream get like that?"

"Don't know…don't…care. Just…" I licked my lips, "Just glad he got outta here with Jazz."

Hook snorted, "He's going to kill the Autobot." He told me and I flipped him off again weakly.

"He owed me."

"He's a Decepticon."

I knew he was right. No matter what anyone else said, no matter all the fan-fiction that made him become a good guy who leapt at the chance to save others, he was a Decepticon. Evil, rotten, a murderer to the core; he would kill Jazz as soon as they were safe.

Ignoring him, I turned away and curled up. Tears leaked from my eyes; how the heck was I going to get out of this?

* * *

Yoda: Y'all read now review. Or no new chappies!!


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